Couples Triathlon

I know what your thinking, this is another picture of me, a 30 something, wanna be triathlete, that illustrates his blog with pictures thus to prove his relationship to the sport.... WRONG!!!

Notice the great "O Face" captured just over my right shoulder. Anybody that has seen the movie Office Space knows what I mean. Since were on the subject of TPS reports, the mindless paperwork is thick today... and... Bill Lumbergh is a bitch... PinkGuruGal... Thank you for the great photo... Its nice to show up to a race and actually talk to other triathlete/ (Jane Kangsta, and PinkGuruGal) bloggers about none tri specific topics, like Cock Houses, Tattoo Removal, and the hot subject of pregnancy. Of which I am an expert, just ask my wife. I'm actually thinking of writing an instructional manual for men illustrating the do and dont's of pregnancy.. Such as...

Do shy away form nude Establishments.. Its only nine months, you cant do it. If you cant just email me, I can fwd more porn than Joe Francis in a weekend than he can film in a year.

Don't go without your wife to Costa Rica.... You'll be accused of cheating, I can promise you that... Actually, don't go to anywhere south of Corpus Christi just to be safe. Then again divorce isn't permitted when pregnant here in Texas. So if you do go and you live in Texas just lie about it and talk sweet to your wife for the duration of the pregnancy. There is a chance she'll forget about it, just dont admit to ANYTHING!!!

Would this fall under Self Help or Educational Reading at the book store???

I digress.... Moving on...

Last weekend My brother and I represented The Axis of Evil at the Couples Tri in Austin TX... Although we came in second in the relatives 61-70 AG there was a mix up with our swim caps. So we started with the wrong group resulting in blah.. We missed our moment on the podium, our great bonding experience is down the toilet. The RD is supposed to fix things, but he cant replace our disappointment, unless he offers free entries to next years race.. Maybe by then my brother and I can finish hand in hand... hahaha... we can be the sibling version of kissing cousins... oh-no.. I just threw up on the floor...

I do admit, Austin is the perfect place for triathlons. Decker Lake and its surroundings were made by GOD in respect to swimming, biking, and running... Too bad Lake Jackson wasn't... our lake is gross stagnant water infested with alligators... Biking is impossible but interesting if your like me and don't mind dropping f'bombs and middle fingers to passing motorists. I've found when challenged they drive off, or could it be my prison like tattoo's that scare them away... Running, is compared to Richard Gere running the gauntlet in The First Night. Ever try running on unlevel sidewalks, covered by low limbs, while dodging cars at every intersection? Its great for multi sport training.

Pace Less, Hammer More....

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust. Artie Lange

Ok, on with the show.

Running On Empty

TGIF!!!!

Let me start of by saying that I fabricated the conversation between my wife and I in the last post. She has never talked to me like that and as a result of my sad attempt at humor someones feeling got hurt. In my defence, I explained that no one reads this nonsense anyway, she didn't seem to care... SO... to mend the busted fence I gave her the contents my wallet anyway!!!

Lets rewind...

East side Triathlon, June 29... 1st Clyde... but would have been 1st in AG also, this has never happened. Feels good to be getting faster. Still need more work on the bike. Look I have two thumbs..

Firecracker 4, July 4th... 3 in AG... 4 miles. 29:00... took 1:30 off my time from last year. First mile 6:40 something, after that I dropped 15 to 17 seconds per mile. Not what I had hoped to do but I'm happy with this considering that speed work is nonexistent in my run training right now, nor has it ever been. The right knee stays sore and "pops" all the time, speed work could set me back a few months. So until joint replacement is an option, no speed work. This being my second time to do this race its probably one of my favorites. Its local so there's lots of familiar faces and it takes place only a few blocks from the house.

Lets fast forward..

This Sunday, Couples Triathlon in Austin... My brother and I will be representing, "The Axis of Evil" futures flights could be compromised due to this name. However its fitting considering our Lebanese background, besides ITS JUST A JOKE!!!. Team Tarabay isn't as fun... Team Brown eyes is suitable but not very nice. We actually put some thought into the team name, don't ask why... Looking forward to seeing Jane and Pink again, we seem to have the same race schedule going this year.

July 20th.. There is a Du in Webster depending on how I feel next week Team McLovin could be making an appearance...

Have a good weekend...

States like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world. By seeking weapons of mass destruction, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these arms to terrorists, giving them the means to match their hatred. They could attack our allies or attempt to blackmail the United States. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic.

George Bush

Life the Tumbleweed...

Life is hectic right now...

Training is steady but everything is negotiated with my wife as she has started running again to lose the baby weight. So it goes like this...

As he walks through the door after a hard day at work.
Mr. Tarabay: Hi Honey I'm home.. Can I train today, Please.. Love You?

Mrs. Tarabay: Yeah yeah... who cares?? Give me your wallet!! Now!

Mr. Tarabay: But you already have my manhood in that silly purse of yours.

She reaches out as though she's going to offer a kiss to her loving husband, then laughs like the wicked witch of the West and says.

Mrs. Tarabay: Shut the F__K up and give and give me your wallet before I slap you...

She takes the wallet, gives feeding instructions for the 5 week old kiddo and says..

Mrs. Tarabay: I only have 1 nerve and your getting on it.. B1tch!!! I'm going out! And when I get back the kids better be clean and in bed or you'll be sorry!!!

She mumbles under her breath as she walks towards the door, flashes a few gang signs then slams the door, I'm left quivering in the corner...

However she did "allow" me to get a new bike on Fathers day, along with new cycling shoes.

Racing another sprint this weekend in Baytown Tx. Although my runs seldom exceed 30 minutes (so as to not injure the knee), my fitness level is high. My weight is down. Cycling abilities are up. Swim hasn't gotten any better since the new baby, as swim time is only maintenance 2000 yards 3 to 4 times a week. Race report and pictures to follow after the race...

VD in the Eye

About 2am this morning my eye woke me up.. Red, Swollen, and calling me names... Could I have caught some of that VD bacteria at the race last weekend?? I wonder if anyone else that was at that race has the same symptoms??

So I went to work this AM but couldn't hang, made it to the Dr for some eye drops, then home to catch a nap with the little guy... Notice the sunglasses.. Even the low lighting irritates it...

Pace Less Hammer More....

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. -Somerset Maugham

Lets Review My first triathlon

My First Tri...





March 17, 2007


St Patty's Triathlon


Keller, Texas





Swim 5:18 1:37


T1 1:55


Bike 45:49 15.7mph (ouch)


t2 0:54


run 27:32 8:53 per mile


overall 1:21:26


18th place out of 27 Clydesdale's


Almost 20min behind 1st Clyde

My weight at the time 235lbs or so...

The swim wasn't that bad as it was in a pool and I had a background in swimming. But....

That 3 mile run was long distance at the time! And...

I was a bit disappointed with my 15.7mph bike pace as I was on a road bike and was getting passed by mountain bikes.

Being competitive in nature, I HATED being passed and not even being middle of the pack. Thus my journey began...

Today, I'm hanging around 215 lbs enjoying my lifestyle and looking forward to my next "appearance" at the Eastside Triathlon in Baytown Tx in 3 weeks...

Pace Less Hammer More....

On Lennox Lewis
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!" Mike Tyson

Post Race Hoopla...

I have to say... Racing again felt great... nothing measures progress like competition. Long race reports are a drag so I'll keep it short...

Prerace... got to meet some fellow bloggers.. Pink Guru Gal and Kathleen... Great to finally meet you guys.. Kinda weird.. never truly met, but I know a few details of their lives and them mine.. Hopefully one day we can get together for drinks or foolishness without aerobars or goggles...

On with the show..

The swim.. my heat was huge.. Clydes, Athens, u19, and relays.. it sucked.. The first 10 seconds went well then someone turned on the washing machine, and I got beat all to hell. After the initial beating, I got a little pissed.. recovered, however the damage was done. my goal of first out of the water was a pipe dream.. ended up 5th clyde on the swim...

T1... went well... 1:33... a relay swimmer stopped directly in front of me to take off his chip and I was moving too fast to stop... I hollered, got my body around his, picked up the bike but the rear tire didn't quite clear his head... oh well, when the train is coming through get the fu*k out of the way... Riiiight?

The bike.. flat and fast... got passed by one clyde in the first 2 minutes. However I didn't let him out of my view... avg 20.6, still need to work on this... 5th in Clyde on the bike..

T2... :37 seconds.. I had a bad spot for t2 in the transition area, could have been a bit faster, but not much...

The run... had the fastest Clyde run avg 7:40 mile... Each Clyde that got ran down, I made sure when I passed them ( and they saw the "C" on my left calf) I was giving it all I had, so they wouldn't chase. At the finish line there was nothing left.. Despite my best effort I knew in my head there would be no need for waiting for the results. But I did... and... BLAM!!!






I know... its just a sprint, but its my first... 1st place... great reward for my efforts.. Now I want more...

More training... less pacing... more hammering... Maybe, I'll look into moving to Florida to train with Ryan (Mr.Caught on the Run) as he would have put me in my place...

New Objective, Train hard on the bike... Go hard on the bike... I HATE getting passed!!

Maybe lose another 5lbs???

Pace Less Hammer More...

Pre Race Morning

Today, I popped out of bed at 3:45 am feeling great and ready to race. Yesterday, at the same time I drug my ass out of bed for "baby duty" questioning our reasoning for reproduction...

Pre race rituals are interesting... Some eat a baked potato the night before, some people relax and mentally prepare themselves by getting extra sleep, and some stay up till 1am drinking Bloody Mary's and emailing blog peeps... hummm, I might need to try the Bloody Mary thing... :)

Pace Less Hammer More....

I'm still here...

Its Friday!!! Thank goodness... these last few weeks are flying by collectively... but each day I'm getting more and more behind... New baby, New job, New Schedule, Tri Training, Sleep, Life... My blog posts are hurting, not that they were all that great to begin with. Not that anyone cares or even reads this abyss of foolishness...

My training has been reduced to darkness. Most days I have two training sessions... 5am to 6:15am, then again after the 18month old goes to bed (whatever time that is)..

Racing a sprint this weekend in Sugar Land, TX. First tri this year; due to my knee taking a dump on me after the marathon...

Also, My brother signed me up for the couples triathlon in Austin next month. Team name... The Axis of Evil... hahaha... future flights will require more time after this race... It was that or Brown Eyes (My wife suggested that one)...

Pace Less Hammer More.


The "Axis of Evil" was - and is - very real, as the tyrants of Iran, Iraq, and North Korea knew full well.

Michael Ledeen

Who's Yo Daddy???

As I turn the page once again on the book of life, I look to reflect on what once was, what is, and what will be. But like hitting a brick wall my thought process comes to a screeching halt as I have a premonition while running in the dark just a few minutes ago. Running in the dark is one of the most relaxing things for me as for once my big ass in invisible to the world, well kind of.. Thus I'm able to think through what ever insanity is ailing me at the moment, as it seems to change by the minute...

So as I finish up my run, things are prioritized in my head, which basically means the really dumb things are forgotten and the logical and less dumb are numbered 1 and 2... Most everything this week revolves around the new addition. When I look at him I hope for great things, I tear up a bit at times. Then while running I had this thought...

This is me and my boy.. Notice the features have similarities. Big hands, big feet, for Gods sake his head is almost the same size as mine and he's only 18 month old... I'd like to think its pretty obvious that he's my kid. Now look at the picture below, and compare it to the first picture of the newborn above...

No one in my family has blond hair!!! My wife's blond hair, isn't really blond.. So who's kid is this?? She always said that Owen Wilson was her type... Humm.. and doesn't he live in Austin?? Well, she did spend a few night in Austin last September for a bachelorette party...

Honestly, I don't mind... Anyone know what child support is paying if the kid belongs to an A-list celebrity???

Just a thought.. maybe I should have doubled my run???

Retraction, Yes Please...

So, my last blog was posted May 17 and in it I said:

"Tomorrow is the infamous "due date" which is never really the case so I could have registered for the Silverlake Triathlon, but I didn't. Let me rephrase that, I wasn't allowed!!! All hail as the pregnant lady enters the room and blesses the masses with her presence. Then demands that thou not race on the "due date" as it is against GOD... "

Well, I was wrong.. Your saying to yourself, Mike is never wrong! but it happens from time to time... My wife got me up at 3:45am on the 18 (the due date) to tell me she was calling the hospital because her contractions were only 6 minutes apart. Since the hospital is an hour away, we were on the road by 4am. This is my second time to make that drive, and it is on my top ten list of exciting things. It makes me feel so grateful for everything I have.

As we approached the Pearland exit (where Silverlake is), and in between contractions my wife notified me that she had seen what I had posted just a few hours earlier and thought an apology was in order.

I'll skip all the details... Adrian Michael Tarabay was born on his due date. May 18th 2008. 11:52am... A beautiful baby boy weighing 9 lbs 12 Oz's, 21 1/4" long..

Falling Behind...

These last few weeks have been a bit hectic and as a result I've fallen behind on my blogging. I also understand that no one reads this and so I'll be posting my bank account and routing number at the end of this post to prove it.

Tomorrow is the infamous "due date" which is never really the case so I could have registered for the Silverlake Triathlon, but I didn't. Let me rephrase that, I wasn't allowed!!! All hail as the pregnant lady enters the room and blesses the masses with her presence. Then demands that thou not race on the "due date" as it is against GOD...

Last week I was transferred out of my worry free environment that consisted of long lunches and watching bootleg movies online into a war zone... of course there is good and bad to this... Lets start with the good.. I now have a 20 mile commute each way as opposed to 60 miles, more $$$, and exposure. Now the bad, On my first day I was a month behind!! To me this is torture because I know me, as I am never late, never miss a deadline, and if I rush there will be mistakes. I would prefer to star in a skat video than be rushed and forced to present something that wasn't given 100%... Poor me! right?? hahah... I'm told it should last 8 months then I'll be back watching bootlegs and training on my lunch breaks...

Anyway, training is going well.. Lots of yards on the pool, lots of time in the saddle, and quality running miles...

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -- Dale Carnegie

Nostalgia

The other day, I came across a "picture box" my wife put together for me and started digging. There is no order to the box, and this is the way she found them. Seemed I never got around to making photo albums, so everything ended up in a shoe box. Now that I'm the refined adult standing before you today, my photos are stored in a "photo box"... Meaning, still the same mess, just in a box that was never used for shoes...

Picture #1 Age 13 or 14???
Summer Swim Team.. What an awkward age huh? My body is out of proportion, and that haircut must have been free.... I started swimming the summer after 5th grade. The first lap I did was doggie paddle, my older brother picked it up a lot quicker than I did. If my memory serves me right, my last summer of swimming was the summer before I went into high school. In which I was only a fraction of a second away from qualifying for the state swim meet in the 100 IM. I didn't swim competitively again until years later when I swam for the same summer league as an adult thinking it would be a good was to meet girls and get in shape. In that order... Unfortunately, there were no girls, and my shape was round....

Picture #2

Taken sometime while in college. Its blurry, so if you cant tell, I'm the one who's mouth and eyes aren't taped shut... This was actually one of our better "moves" most times the unfortunate drunkard would wake up with a bald spot or missing an eyebrow. By the end of the night this guy was duct taped to that couch....

Picture #3

This has nothing to do with the topic of nostalgia or triathlon, I just thought it was cute... This is Elias showing us his food is all gone... Mostly on the floor...

Picture #4

Age 21 or so... This is my Eminem/Slim Shady/WTF was I thinking phase... That was a while back but I assure you my parents were quite proud of me at the time...

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer. Pauly Shore

Nothing Significant

So.. While training I sometimes have these great ideas for blog topics. Then of course I forget mostly because my memory is that of a 4 year old with severe ADD... But then I remind myself that no one reads my moronic thoughts anyway...

Speaking of weird thoughts... I have never been to a therapy session, although it may not be that bad of an idea. Deep thinking is not one of my strong points as I just started walking upright a few years ago, but I had a thought about therapists that treat a patient for multiple years. Do you think a therapist has ever responded poorly to a patient? Now, I'm not thinking of the guy that was abused by his parents, or rape victims, or any other person that was effected as a child by a tragic event. Could it be that when asked "Dr. I don't know why I'm this way" that the therapist responds with "maybe your just an asshole?" Could it be that a person is just as asshole? No reasoning required, no blame for behavior just the shocking truth that some people are just assholes... hum.. this kid below is obviously an asshole.... Jane can you help with this one??

Here's another strange thought. In most cases I prefer to stay away from religion and politics for obvious reasons. Mostly because everyone is wrong and I am always right... Just kidding. But GOD has got to have a sense of humor because of "Pregnancy Snoring"... Looking back at my high school days in a boarding school, college dorms, fraternity house, and countless roommates NEVER, ABSOLUTELY NEVER have I witnessed snoring that compares to my beautiful wife's "songs of sleep!!!" OK you caught me.. I'm up at 3am because of it. Don't worry it has been documented on a number of occasions with our video camera. The visual is piss poor because its dark (obviously), but the audio will rattle the windows if played on a good surround sound!!!

Only a couple more weeks until the little guy gets here....

This week I'm getting transferred out of my cocoon at the home office into the field. I'm being assigned to a construction site only 20 minutes from my house, much nicer than the 60 mile commute each way I'm struggling with now. I spent 10 years in the field before I ever made it to an office desk, of course it also took me ten years to finish college, hello Van Wilder! But that's mostly nights and a few unemployed summers... I never claimed to be brilliant... This assignment will last 8 months to a year, it will be a welcomed change... Although the next step after this will bring me overseas for an extended duration, which has its ups and downs... Up, money!!! Down, being away from the family for 3 months at a time... I'll save my explanation of Lego King for my next blog, thus what I'm being paid for...

Van Wilder: [while standing pantless next to the freshman] But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

Suicidal Freshman: I don't have a pen.

Van Wilder: Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you.

Kristy Gough

"It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens."-Woddy Allen

Friday...

The forcast shows for rain this weekend... I'm with you Johnny....

New Swim Workouts

Since my none running a$$ is still training for something although its a bit down the road I've tried to come up with some new swims to keep it interesting. Here a couple examples...

1. I like to call this my "sweet goodness" because when I'm done with it my flatulence is nothing but sweet goodness... Only kidding its just the opposite... Does anyone else ever get crazy gas after a hard swim??

800 warm up. swimmers choice.. stay consistent, get the heart rate up...
7x 100 IM on 2:05, you gotta earn your rest. and only 2 dolphin kicks after each turn...
5x100 free on :48, again the faster you go the more rest you can put in your pocket....
5x100 pull alternating 50 kick. concentrate on form not speed...
8x50 all out sprints... this is where the gas starts to kick in...
400 warm down.. nice and easy... dry off.. fart for hours...

2. I call this one "Thugged Out" because to the dress code. If the life guards didn't already know me they might question my morality if small children are in the water.

Find the baggiest heaviest "thugged out" pair of swimming trunks. I've been rocking some mock cargo/swimming trunks that are XXL with huge pockets that I got from Ross for $5 bones... Ok, so I still warm up with my normal speedo's 800 or so... then I slip on the gangsta shorts while still in the water.

I have my interval time set for my goal 50 speed which is about :43 sec if I'm doing 500 or more. So I'll add a few seconds to that :48 is what I used the last time. So the goal is to keep you stroke, body position, and kick still presentable, yet don't fall behind!!! And BE CAREFUL to not damage your shoulders by over pulling which is something I did my first stab at this. Ok, so now race the clock and don't let the interval timer lap you, if the swimmer does fall behind stop take off the baggy shorts, (and hope that people realize that your not skinny dipping) repeat with typical swimwear and copy the same distance, you'll feel like your flying... once finished, put the baggy shorts back on and race the timer again... I'll do this for about 1500 or until my shoulders start to talk to me. When finished "thugging it", I like to warm down with a 400.. nice and easy...

Ok, so this is more doltish babbling... Pace Less Hammer More...




Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! John Belushi

Running Hiatus and Vegetarianism

Trying new things has never been something I particularly enjoyed. Typically a change in routine was up there with the wiping of the behind, as its not something that anyone really enjoys but its is most definitely needed. As with every rule there is an exception, a colostomy bag for example would suit this case. Anyway, on with the show...





This month a decision was made for myself not to eat meat... Yes, Vegetarianism hear me roar.. Actually, I'm finding this easier that I had predicted. Now, although there is good reasons for not eating meat such as the obvious, cruelty to animals and the processing of them for consumption. This is not my concern, honestly... I'm doing this for personal reasons, weight loss... For those of you who really get into the Slowtwitch forums, there is a possibility your come across Slowman's Motto





"The trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight" -





So, high fiber and low fat will continue until, well... I don't know... and since no one reads this I doubt that any bets will be placed on the over/under if I were to set a goal.





Off the subject....





"Next person in line!" how many times a day do we hear this?? anywhere and everywhere!! This is a major pet peeve of mine... If I were the owner or manager of a store/ restaurant/ bank/ gym/ airport facility/ gas station/ etc... and one of my employees didn't make the effort to make eye contact and personally say Ma'am/Sir/whatever "can I help you" I would lose my freaking mind!!! This is what I would like to add to the flag burning addition to the constitution that is trying to get passed... Lets bring back the guillotine (made famous by the sarcastic Marie-Antoinette) or quartering w/ horses for every numbnut that says in a rude, mumbling, mush mouth voice "next person in line" while staring down at their shoes or scratching there unmentionables!!!!





I digress...





Where was I, ah yes.. Since I was diagnosed with a deteriorating knee my running has been substituted with extra cycling and swimming. This will continue until May 1st, or longer if need be. Although, I'm not forgoing Wednesday night softball in the beer league, but I seriously doubt that running a few bases would be considered as "running" in any triathletes dictionary. Besides, is slow pitch softball even a sport?? Humm, excessive drinking is done between inning and although smoking isn't allowed while playing, it can be done. So this in my book constitutes an activity not a sport...

Long story short... No meat this month, no running this month.... 12 more days till freedom...

Baby count down 4 weeks...

I made an effort to attach some pictures of a colostomy bag, a guillotine, and yours truly in a thong, but technical difficulties took over... sorry...

Pace Less Hammer More...

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Artie Lange

Nice Weather, Dogs, and WIld Flowers

Last weekend my saddle time was well spent in Austin.. The cycling awareness in Austin is 100 times more than what it is in Lake Jackson/small town USA, this makes training so much more fun. Not to mention that its impossible to go more 5 min without seeing another cyclist. Already looking for another opportunity for another Austin training weekend... Also looking at job opportunities in the area, so if anyone knows of an opportunity for employment of a sleepy redneck, Holla Atcha Boy!

So besides the riding... my old friend Cooter has a step brother to play with now.








And the Blue Bonnets are everywhere.... Sorry about the "junk" in the pictures, driving while taking pictures doesn't lend itself to the best quality shots..

Gotta love the scenery....

Watcha Gonna do with ALL that Junk?????

Pace Less Hammer More!!!!

Training Weekend

The best part of triathlon and feeding the training addiction is how quickly it infects those around you. So just as I am a slave to improving my PR my older brother is getting started and is fully infected with the tri virus.

So, my weekend starts at 4:00 today as I will leave work to deliver the dog (that bit my sons face) that has been a friend of mine since Aug 99'; to my brothers house in Austin. Where he will reside until death or until my brother has children, then at that point we might have to rethink the situation. He has been a great friend to me and I truly hate to see him go. He doesn't understand the ride in the police car, or the night at the SPCA, or the 10 days of quarantine he was released from last night. There isn't a mean bone in his body, I should know, he's been my wing man since he was 6 weeks old. Getting rid of him is an easy decision to make, because we wont take the risk of another bite even if its only in jest. Any permanent damage to the child beyond this point would be negligent. If I was the child, that would be something unforgivable, after all there was a puncture less than an inch from his eye, that could have blinded him in one eye. So my good friend Cooter Brown I wish you a long happy life in Austin, hopefully you be able to befriend my brother as you have done me over the last 8 years.... Insallah Habbab...

On a brighter note: The riding this weekend will be intense, gotta love those Austin hills.. So the bike is staged accordingly on the roof of the car just waiting to be put in the game. "Put me in Coach, I'm ready, I'm ready" it whispers with no expression. "Be patient, your time will come" I reply...

Fridays ride will be spent on the Longhorn 70.3 route

Saturday will be the ATC ride. Read about it below, sounds really cool... Then in the evening LT swim sets.

http://www.austin360.com/news/content/recreation/guides/visit/cyclist.html

Sunday is still up in the air. Most likely it will be spent doing hill repeats. This next month will be spent mostly on the bike and in the pool as my knee is still healing. Running will not become a part of my training again until May 1. I've now been to 2 doctors both say the heavy mile weeks before the marathon is what did me in, because I didn't let it recover properly after the marathon.

The plan is to cycle and swim and not race until June 8th, at the Tejas Tri. Assuming it heals properly.

Even though no one reads this crap that post for the world to see, I wish everyone a wonderful weekend. Happy Training, Good Eats, and may you win the lotto if you have a ticket.. Adieu..

I'm waiting for someone to say this to me about this moronic blog of mine...

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”[Billy Madison]

Aquabike... Huh??

So this was my first attempt that remotely resembles a triathlon in 2008... Lonestar Triathlon, Uh, except it wasn't a tri.. Whatever it was, who cares, right! No one is reading this stuff anyway. Anyway, I didn't want my entry to serve as just a donation to Keith Jordan (RD) and his crew. I emailed him last week telling him that my knee wasn't letting me run (about 6:30am) and within 10 minutes send replied telling me I was all set for the aquabike.

Its better than nothing so I mentally prepared my simple mind (it didn't take long) for a 2-athlon..

Now, In the pool I'm swimming 1.2 miles in under 30 min.. So I was expecting maybe 32 or 33 in open water... Nope.. there I go thinking again... 38:00 min for the swim... That's still 38 seconds better than my last 1/2 IM swim, but I was not happy to see that on my wrist!!! Don't bother adjusting your screen this picture was taken by my lovely wife (she's got skillz) and NO I wasn't wearing a pink cap. My heat was the last in the water (red caps, thank you very much) although I was in the front of my heat, I was swimming through a sea of pink caps. After the turn at the last buoy it was like the start of the swim all over again. Everyone hitting each other, fighting for position, and I'm a gentleman so if I knocked any of the gals in the head please except my deepest apology... I wasn't having "swim rage" ....

Anyway, I got my act together, made it through T1 (or T-0nly1) and it was off to the races... Yeah right... Was it me or was that crosswind kicking every ones @SS??? I did my best to stay aero because every time I sat up the stretch my 220lb frame was like a sail catching wind. So despite the conditions I was still able to finish in 2:53:31 still better than my 3:02:35 that I did in Austin last year... So I guess I PR'd.. who knows?? It's really kinda weird getting in from the bike, chucking the bike on the rack and calling it quits...

I'm told that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I'm thinking that's what makes me faster..

Also, getting schooled by Simon Lessing was actually pretty cool. He passed me (doing the 1/4 iron) and dropped me, all I heard was that cool hum from his rear disk...

Besides all the pro's that showed for the race I heard that the drunk elf that visited us last year during Christmas was also in attendance... See picture below... However his identity wasn't known at first glance... Here he is drunk once again spouting some gibberish about wanting juice.. That's what he calls his sizz-urp... completely unaware of his surroundings and up to no good I'm sure..

In the picture below he is telling my wife about some sob story, every 5 minutes or so he utters "I love you man" and laughs.. Notice the black eye, I don't think he even remembers what the Deal-e-o Yo...

Actually, Easter weekend my old friend Cooter Brown took a shot at the kiddo. It was a lesson to us, dogs will be dogs... Anyway long story short, I was in the 25th mile of my long ride when I got the call that the ER was in the near future. Nothing major, but it was a close call because it was so close to his eye. With the new baby coming in less than 2 months Cooter Brown will be going to live in Austin with my bro. He's been my dog for almost 9 years, I hate to see him go but at least he's still in the family.

Man Down!!!

Painful pills to swallow... Beware... Not my usual goofy/moronic post.. Not that anyone is actually reading this...

Only about 2 weeks until lonestar 1/2 ironman and I'm in a 9 line bind. I've been fighting a popping, shifting, loose right knee and I think its finally gone completely. I visited a Dr. in Angleton (small town) not long after the Longhorn 1/2 IM when this all started. He said I had runners knee, and maybe I did because it went away. The marathon came and went with no pain. Then came the track workouts and a new kind of pain started. The pain that's similar to the first injury when I was 17. Went to the Dr. again this time he calls it arthritis (his solution is to stop running) and gives me an anti-inflammatory.

While in Canada I did a few 1 hour hill runs on the treadmill with no pain. OK, I'm happy now, thinking it gone again. Last Wednesday night at the softball game (after I was hit in the back with a line drive) I was up to bat again, made a little blooper past the short stop, when the right foot landed on first base I felt a "pop".... First thought, "Game over"... limped home that night..

Hoping for the best, I took it easy yesterday (AM & PM) changing my PM bike session to a swim. "No flutter kick for you" the Kick Nazi screams... while in the water I try to water run.. Nope, that dog ain't gonna hunt.. nothing is supposed to hurt in the water, I'm pulling my hair out in frustration... this blows....

So today, I have a late morning meeting on a job site close to my house so I sleep in a bit. The knee is done I know it, walking with a limp is unavoidable. Bending my knee with weight on it shoots pain through my body. Walking up stairs on the job site was difficult...

Well, next week I have another appt with a different Dr. I will bring him my x-rays and MRI hopefully if damage occurred after the MRI there will be some previous sign of it so I don't have to take another...

This carries such an empty feeling with it. Choices are limited this weekend and the weather is supposed to be great. I was planning another bike ride to Manvel for a swim then riding home. Walking up stairs is a challenge thus no riding/swimming/running this weekend...

Man down... Man Down...

No Pacing more, No Hammering more... Just sit and watch others Hammer... uhhhhggggg!!

“To the question whether I am a pessimist or an optimist, I answer that my knowledge is pessimistic, but my willing and hoping are optimistic”

Albert Schweitzer...

Taking One For The Team

Taking one for the team takes on a different meaning as a person gets older. Last night in the local softball (beer league) your truly took one for the team. First a little bit of background, I have mentioned The Hometown Heroes before in a previous blog, but since I'm the only one reading this and there is time to spare today, I'll mention it again.

The Hometown Heroes is made up of Lake Jackson natives and refugees of all sorts. Although it started off as a group of early 20's ex-jock, college flunkies, and community college goers and me (the elder and possibly one of the least mature of the group). Our theme song was "I wanna Rock" and our mission statement " To wreck homes, family's, good driving records, and GPA's; not as individuals but as a collective group of young men" of which none related to me of course..

Over the past few years some of the faces have changed but there are a few constants we stick with. Like "Fight Club" it's somewhat anonymous. So, Constant #1 no real names are used. Thus, I'm "The Doug" as most nicknames don't stick, this one somehow did. Constant #2 although we obviously have a couple superstars on the team everyone is equal, therefor we're all number one. Constant #3, Even though excessive beer drinking isn't required, it is preferred. Partaking of the sauce isn't my thing, although from time to time its done in protest.

Please excuse the freckles. Last night I took one for the team. Let me set the stage, considering my long ball skills, Doug (batting last in the order) popped a little base hit to center and was sitting on first. So, the Hero's lead off with a lefty who hits a line drive directly at my (Doug's) manhood. So a quick on my toes move put me in the fetal position. Doug's manhood was safe, the ball stayed fair, and little birds and stars were scene moving in a clockwise motion about Doug's noggin... Somehow, Doug got to second fell on the ground and whined like a newborn. Once in the laughter slowed, the shooter on the grassy knoll was nice enough to sign the wound, pat me on the bottom, and let me know that "The Doug"took one for the team like a man...

I slept well knowing the boys weren't let down last night... woo-sah...

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf." -

Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

Aero vs. Professionalism

So the question came up; Is being aero still professional? Is aero a lifestyle choice? Or is it just an excuse to have a bad haircut??

I'm going with the latter. Only kidding, for me personally it fits an aero lifestyle, and its super cheap, kinda like me. Actually the shirt I'm wearing today I've hand since high school, seniors 95' in the house...

My day starts at 3:50am, pack the car with clothes, towels, blah.. Make the coffee, hit the road. I'm at 24hr fitness by 5:00am. I have one hour so I make it count. If I'm feeling froggy I can squeeze in 1:07 min of training, but that's pushing it. Get cleaned up, drive downtown, park, and get to my desk by 6:30am... I don't have an extra 5 min to spend on my hair. So my official stance on the age old conflict is that its a lifestyle choice.

Besides, I'm married w/ child (2nd kid due May 19th) and lets face the truth, who am I trying to impress with a haircut. The fact of the matter is that I'm not all that professional anyway. I know you didn't expect that coming, but its true.

How do women deal with the pressures of hair? Its beyond my feeble mind!!! I'll stick to important topics like Brittney Spears acting career and Midget conflicts on Howard Stern. Mental capacity these days is limited, I have to leave room for recalling my PR's and my race schedule at a moments notice.

Speaking of mental limitations vs. the swimming human body. I set my watch for 1:30 interval to pace myself (and help me keep count) then after a short warm up I got it on... Monday I was able to hang on for a full 2100 yards, and always a second or 2 ahead of the clock. It hurt, but nothing is better than racing the clock. Tuesday, not a swim day but I somehow managed to have an extra 25 min of pool time left after a stationary bike workout. So no warm up, I was pretty warm already. Only time for a quick and dirty 1100. I finished the swim with 27 seconds left on the clock. The swim is going well, now if I could just have a couple new knees I'd be golden...

“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”[Jerry Seinfeld]