Monday, July 14, 2008

Couples Triathlon

I know what your thinking, this is another picture of me, a 30 something, wanna be triathlete, that illustrates his blog with pictures thus to prove his relationship to the sport.... WRONG!!!



Notice the great "O Face" captured just over my right shoulder. Anybody that has seen the movie Office Space knows what I mean. Since were on the subject of TPS reports, the mindless paperwork is thick today... and... Bill Lumbergh is a bitch... PinkGuruGal... Thank you for the great photo... Its nice to show up to a race and actually talk to other triathlete/ (Jane Kangsta, and PinkGuruGal) bloggers about none tri specific topics, like Cock Houses, Tattoo Removal, and the hot subject of pregnancy. Of which I am an expert, just ask my wife. I'm actually thinking of writing an instructional manual for men illustrating the do and dont's of pregnancy.. Such as...

Do shy away form nude Establishments.. Its only nine months, you cant do it. If you cant just email me, I can fwd more porn than Joe Francis in a weekend than he can film in a year.

Don't go without your wife to Costa Rica.... You'll be accused of cheating, I can promise you that... Actually, don't go to anywhere south of Corpus Christi just to be safe. Then again divorce isn't permitted when pregnant here in Texas. So if you do go and you live in Texas just lie about it and talk sweet to your wife for the duration of the pregnancy. There is a chance she'll forget about it, just dont admit to ANYTHING!!!

Would this fall under Self Help or Educational Reading at the book store???

I digress.... Moving on...

Last weekend My brother and I represented The Axis of Evil at the Couples Tri in Austin TX... Although we came in second in the relatives 61-70 AG there was a mix up with our swim caps. So we started with the wrong group resulting in blah.. We missed our moment on the podium, our great bonding experience is down the toilet. The RD is supposed to fix things, but he cant replace our disappointment, unless he offers free entries to next years race.. Maybe by then my brother and I can finish hand in hand... hahaha... we can be the sibling version of kissing cousins... oh-no.. I just threw up on the floor...

I do admit, Austin is the perfect place for triathlons. Decker Lake and its surroundings were made by GOD in respect to swimming, biking, and running... Too bad Lake Jackson wasn't... our lake is gross stagnant water infested with alligators... Biking is impossible but interesting if your like me and don't mind dropping f'bombs and middle fingers to passing motorists. I've found when challenged they drive off, or could it be my prison like tattoo's that scare them away... Running, is compared to Richard Gere running the gauntlet in The First Night. Ever try running on unlevel sidewalks, covered by low limbs, while dodging cars at every intersection? Its great for multi sport training.

Pace Less, Hammer More....

I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust. Artie Lange

Ok, on with the show.