New Swim Workouts

Since my none running a$$ is still training for something although its a bit down the road I've tried to come up with some new swims to keep it interesting. Here a couple examples...

1. I like to call this my "sweet goodness" because when I'm done with it my flatulence is nothing but sweet goodness... Only kidding its just the opposite... Does anyone else ever get crazy gas after a hard swim??

800 warm up. swimmers choice.. stay consistent, get the heart rate up...
7x 100 IM on 2:05, you gotta earn your rest. and only 2 dolphin kicks after each turn...
5x100 free on :48, again the faster you go the more rest you can put in your pocket....
5x100 pull alternating 50 kick. concentrate on form not speed...
8x50 all out sprints... this is where the gas starts to kick in...
400 warm down.. nice and easy... dry off.. fart for hours...

2. I call this one "Thugged Out" because to the dress code. If the life guards didn't already know me they might question my morality if small children are in the water.

Find the baggiest heaviest "thugged out" pair of swimming trunks. I've been rocking some mock cargo/swimming trunks that are XXL with huge pockets that I got from Ross for $5 bones... Ok, so I still warm up with my normal speedo's 800 or so... then I slip on the gangsta shorts while still in the water.

I have my interval time set for my goal 50 speed which is about :43 sec if I'm doing 500 or more. So I'll add a few seconds to that :48 is what I used the last time. So the goal is to keep you stroke, body position, and kick still presentable, yet don't fall behind!!! And BE CAREFUL to not damage your shoulders by over pulling which is something I did my first stab at this. Ok, so now race the clock and don't let the interval timer lap you, if the swimmer does fall behind stop take off the baggy shorts, (and hope that people realize that your not skinny dipping) repeat with typical swimwear and copy the same distance, you'll feel like your flying... once finished, put the baggy shorts back on and race the timer again... I'll do this for about 1500 or until my shoulders start to talk to me. When finished "thugging it", I like to warm down with a 400.. nice and easy...

Ok, so this is more doltish babbling... Pace Less Hammer More...




Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! John Belushi

Running Hiatus and Vegetarianism

Trying new things has never been something I particularly enjoyed. Typically a change in routine was up there with the wiping of the behind, as its not something that anyone really enjoys but its is most definitely needed. As with every rule there is an exception, a colostomy bag for example would suit this case. Anyway, on with the show...





This month a decision was made for myself not to eat meat... Yes, Vegetarianism hear me roar.. Actually, I'm finding this easier that I had predicted. Now, although there is good reasons for not eating meat such as the obvious, cruelty to animals and the processing of them for consumption. This is not my concern, honestly... I'm doing this for personal reasons, weight loss... For those of you who really get into the Slowtwitch forums, there is a possibility your come across Slowman's Motto





"The trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight" -





So, high fiber and low fat will continue until, well... I don't know... and since no one reads this I doubt that any bets will be placed on the over/under if I were to set a goal.





Off the subject....





"Next person in line!" how many times a day do we hear this?? anywhere and everywhere!! This is a major pet peeve of mine... If I were the owner or manager of a store/ restaurant/ bank/ gym/ airport facility/ gas station/ etc... and one of my employees didn't make the effort to make eye contact and personally say Ma'am/Sir/whatever "can I help you" I would lose my freaking mind!!! This is what I would like to add to the flag burning addition to the constitution that is trying to get passed... Lets bring back the guillotine (made famous by the sarcastic Marie-Antoinette) or quartering w/ horses for every numbnut that says in a rude, mumbling, mush mouth voice "next person in line" while staring down at their shoes or scratching there unmentionables!!!!





I digress...





Where was I, ah yes.. Since I was diagnosed with a deteriorating knee my running has been substituted with extra cycling and swimming. This will continue until May 1st, or longer if need be. Although, I'm not forgoing Wednesday night softball in the beer league, but I seriously doubt that running a few bases would be considered as "running" in any triathletes dictionary. Besides, is slow pitch softball even a sport?? Humm, excessive drinking is done between inning and although smoking isn't allowed while playing, it can be done. So this in my book constitutes an activity not a sport...

Long story short... No meat this month, no running this month.... 12 more days till freedom...

Baby count down 4 weeks...

I made an effort to attach some pictures of a colostomy bag, a guillotine, and yours truly in a thong, but technical difficulties took over... sorry...

Pace Less Hammer More...

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Artie Lange

Nice Weather, Dogs, and WIld Flowers

Last weekend my saddle time was well spent in Austin.. The cycling awareness in Austin is 100 times more than what it is in Lake Jackson/small town USA, this makes training so much more fun. Not to mention that its impossible to go more 5 min without seeing another cyclist. Already looking for another opportunity for another Austin training weekend... Also looking at job opportunities in the area, so if anyone knows of an opportunity for employment of a sleepy redneck, Holla Atcha Boy!

So besides the riding... my old friend Cooter has a step brother to play with now.








And the Blue Bonnets are everywhere.... Sorry about the "junk" in the pictures, driving while taking pictures doesn't lend itself to the best quality shots..

Gotta love the scenery....

Watcha Gonna do with ALL that Junk?????

Pace Less Hammer More!!!!

Training Weekend

The best part of triathlon and feeding the training addiction is how quickly it infects those around you. So just as I am a slave to improving my PR my older brother is getting started and is fully infected with the tri virus.

So, my weekend starts at 4:00 today as I will leave work to deliver the dog (that bit my sons face) that has been a friend of mine since Aug 99'; to my brothers house in Austin. Where he will reside until death or until my brother has children, then at that point we might have to rethink the situation. He has been a great friend to me and I truly hate to see him go. He doesn't understand the ride in the police car, or the night at the SPCA, or the 10 days of quarantine he was released from last night. There isn't a mean bone in his body, I should know, he's been my wing man since he was 6 weeks old. Getting rid of him is an easy decision to make, because we wont take the risk of another bite even if its only in jest. Any permanent damage to the child beyond this point would be negligent. If I was the child, that would be something unforgivable, after all there was a puncture less than an inch from his eye, that could have blinded him in one eye. So my good friend Cooter Brown I wish you a long happy life in Austin, hopefully you be able to befriend my brother as you have done me over the last 8 years.... Insallah Habbab...

On a brighter note: The riding this weekend will be intense, gotta love those Austin hills.. So the bike is staged accordingly on the roof of the car just waiting to be put in the game. "Put me in Coach, I'm ready, I'm ready" it whispers with no expression. "Be patient, your time will come" I reply...

Fridays ride will be spent on the Longhorn 70.3 route

Saturday will be the ATC ride. Read about it below, sounds really cool... Then in the evening LT swim sets.

http://www.austin360.com/news/content/recreation/guides/visit/cyclist.html

Sunday is still up in the air. Most likely it will be spent doing hill repeats. This next month will be spent mostly on the bike and in the pool as my knee is still healing. Running will not become a part of my training again until May 1. I've now been to 2 doctors both say the heavy mile weeks before the marathon is what did me in, because I didn't let it recover properly after the marathon.

The plan is to cycle and swim and not race until June 8th, at the Tejas Tri. Assuming it heals properly.

Even though no one reads this crap that post for the world to see, I wish everyone a wonderful weekend. Happy Training, Good Eats, and may you win the lotto if you have a ticket.. Adieu..

I'm waiting for someone to say this to me about this moronic blog of mine...

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”[Billy Madison]

Aquabike... Huh??

So this was my first attempt that remotely resembles a triathlon in 2008... Lonestar Triathlon, Uh, except it wasn't a tri.. Whatever it was, who cares, right! No one is reading this stuff anyway. Anyway, I didn't want my entry to serve as just a donation to Keith Jordan (RD) and his crew. I emailed him last week telling him that my knee wasn't letting me run (about 6:30am) and within 10 minutes send replied telling me I was all set for the aquabike.

Its better than nothing so I mentally prepared my simple mind (it didn't take long) for a 2-athlon..

Now, In the pool I'm swimming 1.2 miles in under 30 min.. So I was expecting maybe 32 or 33 in open water... Nope.. there I go thinking again... 38:00 min for the swim... That's still 38 seconds better than my last 1/2 IM swim, but I was not happy to see that on my wrist!!! Don't bother adjusting your screen this picture was taken by my lovely wife (she's got skillz) and NO I wasn't wearing a pink cap. My heat was the last in the water (red caps, thank you very much) although I was in the front of my heat, I was swimming through a sea of pink caps. After the turn at the last buoy it was like the start of the swim all over again. Everyone hitting each other, fighting for position, and I'm a gentleman so if I knocked any of the gals in the head please except my deepest apology... I wasn't having "swim rage" ....

Anyway, I got my act together, made it through T1 (or T-0nly1) and it was off to the races... Yeah right... Was it me or was that crosswind kicking every ones @SS??? I did my best to stay aero because every time I sat up the stretch my 220lb frame was like a sail catching wind. So despite the conditions I was still able to finish in 2:53:31 still better than my 3:02:35 that I did in Austin last year... So I guess I PR'd.. who knows?? It's really kinda weird getting in from the bike, chucking the bike on the rack and calling it quits...

I'm told that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I'm thinking that's what makes me faster..

Also, getting schooled by Simon Lessing was actually pretty cool. He passed me (doing the 1/4 iron) and dropped me, all I heard was that cool hum from his rear disk...

Besides all the pro's that showed for the race I heard that the drunk elf that visited us last year during Christmas was also in attendance... See picture below... However his identity wasn't known at first glance... Here he is drunk once again spouting some gibberish about wanting juice.. That's what he calls his sizz-urp... completely unaware of his surroundings and up to no good I'm sure..

In the picture below he is telling my wife about some sob story, every 5 minutes or so he utters "I love you man" and laughs.. Notice the black eye, I don't think he even remembers what the Deal-e-o Yo...

Actually, Easter weekend my old friend Cooter Brown took a shot at the kiddo. It was a lesson to us, dogs will be dogs... Anyway long story short, I was in the 25th mile of my long ride when I got the call that the ER was in the near future. Nothing major, but it was a close call because it was so close to his eye. With the new baby coming in less than 2 months Cooter Brown will be going to live in Austin with my bro. He's been my dog for almost 9 years, I hate to see him go but at least he's still in the family.